You are my home
by crowned queen of bitchland
Summary: Expecting a child is a happy thing. There should be baby showers and late night, weird cravings and hormones and excitement. But most of all there should be someone to share it with. Stiles...he's going at it alone.
1. I thought he loved me

**Hi everyone...  
This is my first venture into the TW fandom.  
I a****m a huge Sterek shipper and after reading a lot of amazing stories I decided to try and write one myself.**

**Since I have a few Klaine stories going on I am posting this for the sole purpose of seeing if you'd be interested in reading this.**

**So check it out and let me know what you think.**

**English is not my first language and this is unbeta-ed so any and all mistakes are mine.**

**Also I obviously don't own TW because if I did Derek would have healing sex with a certain stubborn, ADHD, big mouthed guy instead of that teacher but what do I know right -_-**

**Let me know if you like this :***

**_Italics are flashbacks._**

* * *

„I think that's the last of it. Well not the last of what we'll have in our new home but the last thing I brought with us from my old home and unpacked. We still need to buy a lot of stuff but that's gonna have to wait until dad comes around to help. What do you think?"-Stiles rambled as he turned his protruded belly to face the still empty living room, not feeling silly at all for talking to his unborn baby girl and asking for her opinion on their new living arrangements.

He had done his research and all the books said it soothed the baby to hear the voices of the family so Stiles did what he did best.

He talked.

He talked to her about everything that came to mind.

The movies he watched, the books he read (out loud so they could discuss them together before going to sleep), the new video game he was developing that earned them enough money to buy a tiny little house that Stiles fell in love with, the merits of having pulp in your orange juice versus not having it…the usual stuff.

He consulted her about the color of her new room and interpreted the faint kicking he felt as "don't you dare paint my room pink just because I'm a girl" and decided his child was the most badass kid ever.

He also talked to her about her name.

She absolutely refused to be named after his first crush even though he told her the name Lydia came with a legacy of beauty and intellect.

She disagreed so fiercely she kicked his bladder all night long making him have to get up and pee every 10 minutes.

He offered some fierce names of his favorite fantasy characters, thinking it would be a great idea to name her Arya or Arwen.

He couldn't see her but he swore she was rolling her eyes at him with disdain behind the thin stretched skin of his stomach.

She was way too sassy for a 6 months old fetus.

After she murdered his hopes of having a fantasy named baby he gave up for a while trying to come up with something that the both of them would like and that would hold some meaning to him.

Then his birthday rolled around and he realized that he was turning 25, he had a baby on the way and he was in love with the baby's father that so obviously didn't want him back.

He snuggled in his bed with his pregnancy pillow, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to pretend that the gentle caress of the pillowcase were fingertips dancing across his skin again.

Blaming it on the hormones he let a few tears drip down his nose and he felt a gentle push of a small foot in his belly.

Tracing the small bump with his hand he sighed into the dark.

"Don't worry Les. Daddy is okay."-he said and froze when he realized he just named his baby without even thinking about it.

Les.

Alessia.

Alessia Laurel Hale.

She didn't move a muscle nor did she smash any of his inner organs.

He figured it meant she liked her name and smiled softly drifting to a restless sleep.

Now, a week after his birthday Alessia was kicking away in his stomach happily at the sight of their fairytale home.

"And this is your room, where, you will notice, we are missing a few key furniture pieces such as a bed and a wardrobe but the walls are a pretty green color as per your request and you have a pretty cool crib where you are right now so a real crib can wait for another month and a half until you decide to move out. How does that sound?"-he asked as he patted his belly and went on to show her the rest of the house.

"Aaaan this is daddy's room where you will be sleeping for a few more weeks so I made sure the bed was all soft and plush and the sheets are pretty high quality too so you…"

"Stiles!"-his rant was interrupted by his father's voice coming from the kitchen.

"In my room dad!"-he called out and lifted one of the boxes creatively marked "My room" on the bed and started unloading piles of clothes and trinkets he packed from his old house.

"Are you talking to the baby again?"-his dad leaned against the doorframe and smirked at the blush covering Stiles' cheeks.

"I was just showing her around, no need to mock the pregnant dude."-he said in a small voice hating his hormones for getting him emotional over everything.

"Not mocking son. Just wondering if she liked it?"-his dad said and Stiles lit up like a firework crossing the room in a few gigantic steps and throwing himself in his father's arms.

"She has some reservations about the living room furniture but she loves the rest."-Stiles winked and turned back to unpacking.

"Well that's good then. Okay, make me busy!"-John clapped his hands and regretted his eagerness half an hour later when he found himself hauling the sofa up the short flight of stairs and into the house, sweating and grunting about being too old for this shit while his son sat with his legs propped up, sipping lemonade and acting like a navigation device for the sofa.

Positioning the furniture proved to be more than just physically straining.

Since the kitchen/dining room/living room area was actually one big room it left Stiles two walls to place his furniture against.

Stiles wanted the sofa to face the window but then he realized that the shelves and his TV won't fit under the window.

They turned the sofa to the opposite side making it look towards the empty wall connecting the living room with the part of the house where the bedrooms were but he felt like it wasn't feng shui so they moved it again but then Stiles didn't like it again which made him cry and conclude that his lack of sofa positioning skills meant he was gonna make a horrible father to his baby girl resulting in her becoming an internet porn star.

His dad stared at him for about 15 minutes before just pushing the sofa under the window and placing the armchairs around it making Stiles look up tentatively and smile while hiccupping that he liked that idea.

They unpacked slowly, taking breaks every half an hour because Stiles got tired fairly quickly and resorted to taking naps whenever he felt like it.

They finally dragged the last box out of the pickup truck and unloaded the kitchen utensils in the cabinets before diving into the sandwiches his dad brought with him when he came around.

"O 'y go' this's so 'ood!"-Stiles said, mouth filled with food and hid dad cringed at the crumbs flying from between his lips.

"Eat with your mouth closed Stiles, please I don't need to actually see the digestion process."-the sheriff sad and Stiles stuck his tongue out showing off his chewed food lewdly.

He was pregnant; he could get away with whatever he wanted. Which is why he finished of his food and then wiggled his toes while he pushed his legs onto his father's lap whimpering pitifully.

John gave him an exasperated look but Stiles could totally see the soft smile and fierce love behind his mask.

He was fooling no one.

He gave another wiggle of his toes in his dad's direction and the older man placed his hands on his swollen ankles, digging his fingers gently and trying to ease up some of the tension and soreness.

"Oh they should be handing out medals of honor for this. Like seriously. John Stilinski, world's most greatest ankle masseur. If you ever get dumped from the force you could like…open a salon for pregnant people. You'd make some serious cash and…"

"Stiles…."

"What?"

"Would you shut up for a second?"-John laughed at his overly excited son.

"Pfff you love my rambling. It's a part of my charm. Now stop slacking. I've got another sore calf waiting for your attention."

John chuckled and resumed his task.

Truth be told he loved helping his son.

He loved doing whatever he could to make it easier for him.

And the part where Stiles never asked for help was what made him even more determined to open his eyes and pay more attention to what he needs.

Every once in a while he would pick up the groceries for him making a lame excuse that he bought too much since he wasn't used to buying for just one person.

He would check on Stiles' jeep and make sure it was in perfect condition.

Somehow he ended up being miraculously free for every doctor's appointment even if Stiles protested, saying he was fine going alone and that he didn't have to waste his free days on him.

But John wanted to.

He saw the way Stiles' eyes would mist over when he saw other pregnant women and men in the waiting room.

None of them were ever alone.

Their partners holding their hands and handing them cups of apple juice and helping them get up from the chair when their bellies grew too much for them to do it alone.

The love shining in their eyes killed Stiles every time but he would plaster a grin on his face and babble on about whatever he could think of trying to hide the longing.

John would pretend to believe him and would listen to him prattle but he knew he ached for someone to be there; for Derek to show up and hold his hand as they listened to the accelerated heartbeat of their unborn child.

He would pretend to believe Stiles when he said he was happy on his own but in secrecy he would do his best to be there for him and not let him feel alone and abandoned.

It's what dads were for.

He sighed and dug hi fingers into the tense flesh of Stiles' other calf trying to breach the subject of Derek once again.

"You should tell him about this."-he said quietly and he felt the muscles in Stiles' legs tense before he smiled lazily.

"I'm fairly sure Dr. Ryan knows about my swollen ankles dad."-he chuckled forcefully but there was a hysterical note in that laugh that showed John his son knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Stiles!"-the sheriff warned and Stiles' face clouded over darkly.

"No!"-the boy got up from the couch clumsily, picking up the scattered wrappings and tossing them into the bin with just a tiny bit more aggression then strictly necessary.

"Son, he deserves to know he's going to be a father. No matter what he did he deserves…"-John said as he barricaded Stiles' exit from the room.

"He deserves nothing from me!"-he screamed and placed a protective hand over his stomach "Dad…he…he used me…he…."

The young man broke down in tears and his dad kneeled in front of his son hugging him tightly.

"Shhh, I'm sorry I upset you…it's okay."-he tried soothing him but his sobs were still wrecking his body.

"I…I thought he loved me."

* * *

_His head filled with cotton and his legs gave up from underneath him when Derek pinned him to a wall and attached his lips on his._

_Soft, damp flesh gave up the fight and allowed the Alpha to consume him, to devour him, to own him like he so desperately wanted for years._

_Clawed hands griped his hips and iron-like arms wound around his lithe body, keeping him from falling apart._

_His every dream was coming true and he was losing all semblance of sanity as he wrapped himself around Derek, trying to take as much as he could before waking up because this was obviously a very elaborate dream his mind pulled him into._

_"Derek…"-he moaned as sharp teeth dug their way into his neck and he shivered all over from the most amazing kind of pain and who knew he had a pain kink…surely not him…huh._

_He clutched at those ridiculously toned shoulders and rocked his hips forward before Derek panted and moved away from his lips, but still holding him in place with his body._

_Having access to oxygen made Stiles' mind clear a bit and he looked up to find Derek's eyes blazing red as his heart pounded against Stiles' chest._

_"Wha…why did you do that? I mean…not that I mind because well…obviously I don't but why would you…"_

_"Because I wanted to."-Derek said pining Stiles' flailing hands between their bodies._

_"Right…yeah that sounds like a good reason to do something…most of the stuff I do I do them because I want to…it's…it's good…"_

_"Stiles…"_

_"Huh?"_

_"I'm gonna kiss you again."_

_"Oh…yes that's good too…"_

_He melted happily into the kiss never even suspecting that that one little kiss that set him on fire would make him crash and burn only a few weeks later_.

* * *

"It's okay son…I've got you…"

"I thought he would stay dad…I th-thought he wanted me…"

His sobs broke John's heart and he held him tighter cursing himself for ever mentioning that son of a bitch.

But he really did think Derek deserved to know.

Asshole to his son or not he had the right to know he had a child and he had the obligation to do the right thing for his baby girl.

"Dad?"-Stiles' broken voice rasped from his lap.

"Yeah?"

"I know what you're thinking. But it's my choice. And I'm not telling him. I'm not giving him the chance to hurt Alessia by deciding he doesn't want her. I…I can do this alone…with a little bit of your help I can make it. Just please dad…please don't tell him about us."-he stared at him with those huge brown eyes of his and John couldn't do anything else but nod and hug him again.

"You know I'm always here for you."-he pressed a kiss to his damp temple helping him back to his feet and keeping him steady when his balance gave up on him.

"Thanks dad. Now help me find some pajamas and grab a blanket for yourself. I know you think you're sneaky but I know you ask for days off for my doctor's appointments."

"I…"

"No…don't even try to deny it. Sheriff or not you are amazingly transparent."-he winked and for a second John could pretend it was his old, happy boy standing in front of him.

"Blankets and pillows are in the hallway closet. See you in the morning old man."-he turned for his room with his shoulders hunched and John knew his old son was no longer there.

Instead there was a tired but brave, resilient and determined man who was a fighter and there was nothing John could do but feel a little bit of sadness and a whole lot of pride for the man he helped creating.

* * *

In his room Stiles changed into his pajamas slowly and clumsily, nostalgic for the days when he was still able to see his feet.

Wobbling tiredly he slid under the covers and sighed when the cool sheets eased the burn in his worn body.

The pregnancy was taking a toll on him and he was a bit anxious for his daughter to get bored inside of him and decide to come out.

He was dying to finally meet her.

Hugging his stomach he ran his palms over the warm skin and grinned when he felt a soft kick against his ribs.

"Love you too Les. Get some sleep baby girl and whatever you do, don't wake daddy up before sunrise."

Turning onto his side he glanced out the window and caught sight of the full moon.

Heart throbbing with pain he thumbed the crinkled photo under his pillow.

"G'night Sourwolf."-he whispered and if his mind decided to take the random howl of a stray wolf in the woods as Derek wishing him sweet dreams then that was only for him to know.

* * *

**Did you hate it? :)**


	2. I still miss him

**Here's the next chapter of this little fic.**

**Thank you all so much for your amazing feedback on the first chapter. It made me super happy to see that.**

**The pregnancy questions in this chapter are actually for real.**

**I googled some things and found this ridiculous forum/blog thingy and laughed my ass off. Let me tell you people are crazy XD**

**Someone asked me in a review how to pronounce Les' name.**

**I don't really know how to write that so I suggest you go to Google translate and type the name in while setting the language to Italian. Then click the little icon for vocalizing the input. I tried and it is completely accurate. I hope that helps :)**

**Again this is unbeta-ed so forgive all of my mistakes and again I do not own Teen Wolf or any of it's characters.**  
**Have you seen Derek and Stiles make out yet? No? Well that means they are still not mine.**

* * *

„So won't you please...be my little babyyyyy...say you'll be my darling…be my baby noooooooow!"-Stiles sang goofily as he bounced (well waddled but come on...like you could do any better with a 7 months old baby in your stomach) around the kitchen making his new favorite breakfast; a tuna sandwich with pickles and pineapples.

From across the counter his dad was eyeing and silently judging his food choices as Stiles finally settled down into his chair and bit into his rotten smelling breakfast with all the gusto in the world.

"Son…"-John started and Stiles looked up, mid bite, eyes bugging out and a pickle slice peeking from between his lips.

"Wha'?"-he asked and swallowed loudly; his bite barely chewed as he got caught unprepared for the interruption.

"What in the name of god is in that sandwich?"-John asked wrinkling his nose in distaste and frowning at his son.

"Tuna, and some pickles, and pineapples…and some mayo…and stuff…It's really nutritious. Want one?"-Stiles beamed and John held his hands up defensively.

"NO…please…PB&J sandwich is enough for me."-he rushed out and Stiles eyed him for a few moments before shrugging and digging back into his food.

John smiled softly and reached over to grab some milk, memories swimming behind his eyelids.

Memories of mornings with his late wife while she was pregnant with Stiles and convinced putting strawberries in soup was the best culinary idea since the discovery of fire and cooked meals.

And he was unable to say no to her and her big brown eyes so he ate the god damned strawberry soup like he was a death convict enjoying his last meal.

Stiles inherited her brown eyes but over the years John got immune to the power of the pout and was now luckily able to escape death by grossness.

"You know…your mom had the strangest food combinations while she was pregnant with you but that sandwich is a masterpiece."-he chuckled and Stiles stuck his tongue at him.

"Shut up. I'll have you know this sandwich is the perfect combination of omega 3 fatty acids, vitamins and minerals that's good for the baby AND junk food that's awesome for the baby daddy. So there."-he huffed and stood up to place his plate in the sink.

"If you say so."-John said but he remained cautiously unconvinced.

"What did mom eat when she was pregnant?"-Stiles asked all of a sudden and John wrinkled his forehead trying to remember.

"She'd put strawberries in her soup, olives in her ice-cream, she would eat bread with pizza and put chocolate sauce into her hamburgers. It was really disgusting."-John said aiming to make Stiles realize that what he was eating was just plain yucky but as he looked up he found his son staring at him wide eyed and delighted.

"My mom…was a freaking genius. Can we get an olive ice-cream after the check up? Please dad? PLEASE?"-he pouted.

"I never should have said anything."-he grumbled standing up "Yes we can get YOU the olive ice-cream. I am not eating that shit."-he said standing up and walking towards the door.

"Watch the language."-Stiles said placing his hands on his belly to cover Les' ears and walking behind his dad.

"Stiles…you now that she can't really hear you right?"-John asked.

"She wants you to know that, yes, she can and she resents your skepticism."-Stiles translated the faint kick he felt.

"Your unborn child wants me to know that she, and I quote, "resents my skepticism"? Really?"-John rolled his eyes.

"She's very smart for her age."

"Especially since she doesn't really have an age just yet."

"You suck."

"Language, Stiles."

* * *

"All right Stiles. You know the drill."-Dr. Ryan smiled warmly and patted the chair.

Clumsily, Stiles unbuttoned his jeans and hopped onto the chair and lifted his shirt up revealing his swollen belly.

Settling into the chair and finding a comfortable position he nodded to the doctor that he was ready.

Dr. Ryan put on his gloves and squirted some gel onto Stiles' stomach rubbing it in and touching the probe to the clear liquid he spread around.

"Okay so today we'll basically just take a quick look to see if everything is as it should be and I'll print out some pictures of your baby at this stage of the pregnancy. Anything you wanted to ask?"-the young doctor asked and chuckled when Stiles jumped a little from the cold feeling the gel caused on his skin.

As the probe swiped across his stomach the screen came to life and there was a small, roundish, blurry but definitely there, shape of what Stiles knew was his little baby girl.

"I…I do have some questions but would it be okay if…if I just looked at her for a while?"-he asked as his eyes misted over and the doctor smiled, turning the volume up and pressing the probe to the correct spot making the fast thumping noise reverberate through the room.

Les.

His little girl.

Her heartbeat.

It was strong and quick and he knew it was the way it had to be but he couldn't help but raise his eyebrows questioningly at the doctor who just nodded at him, reassuring him that everything was perfect with his baby.

He stared at the screen for a few minutes, feeling his eyes fill with tears and his dad squeeze his hand in comfort.

He knew it was his dad.

He knew his hands and the calluses on them.

He knew the thick scar his dad earned when he was chasing a burglar down a blind alley then ended with barbed wire.

He knew the hands that put him to sleep when he was a kid and held him as he cried when his world crashed down around him.

But in that moment there was nothing there to stop him from wishing the hand holding his was broader, skin softer and less wrinkled, scars nonexistent and blood running warmer and faster through the veins.

He could pretend that it was Derek there with him, watching their little girl, kissing his forehead and whispering promises of a family home and a life together.

He gave his dad's hand a soft squeeze forcing himself to stop thinking about the man who used his feelings to satisfy his temporary itch for a warm body in his bed and then threw him away breaking his heart and leaving him to deal with everything on his own.

Shaking his head he pulled himself out of those thoughts cursing Derek and convincing his own heart that he deserved nothing from him; not a single tear or nightmare or crack on his soul he left behind.

"She's perfect already."-he whispered and thumbed his tears away from his face smiling at his dad.

"That she is son."-John smiled back and the doctor printed the photos and handed them to Stiles.

"Want one for your wallet?"-Stiles asked and John nodded enthusiastically taking the picture and placing it next to the ones they took when Stiles was two and 4 months along.

"I can't wait to have a picture of her where she actually looks like a "she"."John teased and Stiles scowled at him.

"She's the most beautiful "she" ever. No doubt about it."-he said and sat up on the chair refastening his pants and wiping the gel off his skin.

He could hardly wait to get home and shower. The stuff was disgusting when it dried.

"Stiles you said you had some questions for me?"-Dr. Ryan prompted and Stiles nodded pulling a sheet of paper out of his pocket.

"Yeah I do and please don't think I'm ridiculous. But everybody says I should read some stuff and inform myself about being pregnant and all and so I figured I should do that. And so I did. And I know the baby has nails and there's eye color almost visible at this stage and that her lungs are developing right now and that even if she was born right now she would survive because she could breathe outside and everything. But there were some things I saw on line that make no sense and I don't think they are true but I don't really want to risk it so I thought I should ask…to be, y'know…safe."-he shrugged and the doctor nodded.

"There are no stupid questions Stiles. If it's bothering you then it's better to ask then to do something wrong. So shoot."

"Okay well…I read that I shouldn't be flying during my pregnancy. I'm not like…planning to go anywhere but what if there's like a huge, natural disaster, zombie apocalypse thing going on and we need to evacuate and I have to fly. What then?"-he flapped his hand around trying to convey the seriousness of the potential situation to the two men who stood gapping at him and clearly thinking he was out of his mind.

Well he didn't care.

If there was an apocalypse he wanted to make sure he knew what transportation devices were safe for him to run away by.

"There's no medical reason for you not to be able to fly while pregnant. It's not recommendable in the last stages of pregnancy purely because of the possibility of you going into labor while flying which would be more then inconvenient. Other than that flying is perfectly safe. So if zombies attack you are free to fly away to safety."-the doctor answered kindly.

"Phew…that's a relief…okay what about sushi?"

"What about it?"

"Can I eat it? 'Cause I love it and it says it's bad for the baby."

"Sushi is also fine. Try to avoid swordfish and tilefish but sushi is okay."

"And hot dogs?"

"Hot dogs too."

"Okay. Good…that's good."

"Anything else?"

"Oh let me just check? Ummmmmmm…Oh…it says I should only sleep on my left side. Is that true? I tend to starfish across my bed and flail around a lot in my sleep…well in my awake time as well but I could try to…I dunno…barricade myself with pillows or something…"-he finished rambling and looked up to find his dad and his doctor laughing their asses off silently.

"What?"-he asked offended "You said no question was stupid."

"Well that one kind of was. Where on earth did you find that information?"-Dr. Ryan asked still chuckling.

"Pregnancy forum."-he mumbled and the doctor huffed out a laugh.

"Can I see that list?"-he reached for the paper and Stiles sagged his shoulders and gave the paper over to him.

"Okay…let's see…you're free to pet dogs and cats as long as you wash your hands, the position of your stomach cannot tell you the sex of your baby, even though you don't need that since you already know it's a girl, and going out during an eclipse will most certainly not give your baby a cleft palate. My god this is ridiculous. Someone should take it down from the internet to avoid scaring the crap out of young mothers and fathers."-the doctor said giving the list back and clapping Stiles on the shoulder " You're doing everything right and that baby inside of you is really really happy to have you as her daddy."

At that exact moment Alessia kicked his ribs as if to say she completely agrees with her doctor and Stiles nodded and smiled gratefully.

She only had one daddy.

But he wanted to be the best he could possibly be for her.

"Thanks doctor Ryan."

"Any time Stiles. And one more thing. I am giving you an appointment three weeks from now. We'll check the baby out one more time and then set up a date for your c-section. After you enter your ninth month we can get the baby out at any time. So we'll talk about that. That okay?"

"Sure thing. I can't wait to finally meet her in person."

"It's not too long now. See you in three weeks."

"See you."-Stiles and John greeted back as they walked out into the sun.

The day was beautiful and Stiles felt happy at the thought he would have a summer baby.

She would always have her birthday on a sunny day and the warmth would be like a safety blanket.

She would meet this new world when it was in the most beautiful coat it could wear and he was grateful for that.

Squinting against the sun he glanced at his dad.

"Olive ice-cream now?"

"Ugh I hoped you'd forget about that."-John whined and Stiles smirked.

"It's like you don't even know me old man."-he smiled as they walked the short distance to the ice-cream parlor missing the faint glint of red eyes gazing at them and sniffing the air hungrily.

* * *

_Soft fingers were carding through the fur on the back of his neck._

_The scent surrounding him was warm, sweet and so familiar it made him whine happily any lean into the touch as the last remains of the magic caused by the full moon left his tired body._

_He didn't have to shift._

_He could control himself._

_But it made it easier._

_It made him happier and more grounded._

_And Stiles let him; encouraged him even._

_Pleaded for him to shift and run and make his wolf happy, waiting for him in front of his house when he came back and staying by his side until he came back to him completely._

_He had never felt safer than when he was with him._

_And nothing had scared him more._

_Stiles was human._

_Stiles was breakable._

_Stiles was fragile._

"DEREK! DEREK WAKE UP. COME ONE MAN WAKE UP."-there was someone screaming in his ear and he snapped up, wide awake as the last traces of Stiles' scent faded back into his dreams and away from his reality.

"What the hell Isaac? What is going on?"-he asked eyes blazing red and skin crawling with the anxiety that wafted from his second in command.

"Cora and I…we were running and…there was a smell…"

"What smell?"-he asked looking at his baby sister.

"I don't know what it was. It…it kind of smelled like an alpha but…"

"But?"

"There was something off about it. Like…there were almost no traces of a human scent. Like…like it was a pure wolf."-Isaac said and Derek's heart froze in his chest.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I…I think so…Derek what is it?"

"Take me to where you smelled it."

"Derek?"

"NOW ISAAC!"

The beta shrunk and scurried out of the room running through the woods while his alpha trailed after him fear emanating from his skin and into the air around them.

Derek ran as fast as he could praying to god it wasn't what he thought it was and thinking of nothing more but Stiles and how to find him and keep him safe if his prayers weren't answered.

* * *

"Alright Les. Bed time. Feet tucked in. Check. Pregnancy pillow adjusted to a position that should be comfortable for at least 20 minutes. Check. Window cracked open so your daddy doesn't suffocate to death. Check. Glass of water. Check. Aaaaand we're good to go."-Stiles rambled as he got settled into his bed finding a comfortable position for himself and his belly.

Sighing into the pillows he rested his head down staring at the small ultrasound photo he got that day.

"You've gotten pretty big baby girl. Daddy's really proud of you."-he caressed his baby bump softly smiling at the picture.

The soft breeze was whispering through the window making the hot night pleasantly chilly and he turned his face towards the coolness.

Just as Stiles closed his eyes and relaxed a pained, angry and desperate howl echoed around him and the baby kicked at his stomach wildly.

Jumping up in surprise he covered the trace of a small foot on the left side of his belly smiling sadly.

"I know baby girl. I miss him too. Your other daddy is a big, fat, okay maybe not fat because he's all like ripped and hot and…well you don't really need the details…but he's a big, broody idiot and he said some mean things. But…but I still miss him. Every single day."

Another faint kick and Stiles settled back into his sheets turning out the howls reverberating through the sleepy town.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite Les."-Stiles whispered interpreting the kick as "sleep tight daddy".

His baby was really chatty.

And polite too.

Best baby ever.

* * *

**Review maybe :)**


	3. Keep him safe

**Here's chapter number three...**

**It's a little bit angsty so I guess I should warn you about that.**

**Other than that I hope you like it and thank you for the lovely words of encouragement.**

**I still own nothing...obviously.**

* * *

The woods were turning into a swirl of green and brown and beige as they raced through the small clearing and into the thick cluster of trees that loomed over the rest of the woods and scattered shadows that seemed creepy and unusually scary.

Derek loved the woods.

Ever since he was a little kid he would wait until his mother decided to take a nap to slink through the wooden gate of his home and run into the wildness behind his house.

Every time he returned he wore a smug little smile and felt like the best werewolf ever because he could sneak out alone and nobody ever knew a thing.

It wasn't until he hit his teens that he realized how heightened their senses were and how his spy career would never happen because his mother knew where he was all along, and she even pretended to nap so she could run after him and keep him safe while he reenacted Tarzan-king of the jungle.

It surprised him, however, that he had never resented her.

After finding out he just invited her along and the two of them spent hours upon hours racing and hunting and just existing in the nature that embraced them so freely and unconditionally.

He felt at home there; feral and primal and free he could do whatever he wanted.

There was only one other place he felt like that; only one more person who accepted him for everything he was without ever asking anything in return.

One person besides his family that loved him, not in spite all his flaws, but with them and because of them.

One person and he pushed him away.

He glances up only to realize Isaac is in his wolf form next to him and his head is cocked to the side in confusion since Derek had stopped in his track and let the memories of his mornings with Stiles take over him again.

And every time he let that happen his entire body would just shut down and his mind would take him back to long hours spent curled around that lithe, pale body he couldn't get enough of and he would die a little inside remembering how hard it was to keep pretending he felt nothing but lust for him when his insides burned with feelings and the need to claim and protect.

He was such an idiot for allowing himself to fall that hard.

Stiles deserved better than him.

He deserved someone whole and unblemished.

And Derek gave him a chance to have that someone.

Nuzzling Isaac's neck he shook his head to stop them from "asking" anything and the soothing lick Cora gave him told him that they both knew he was remembering his mate.

Howling lowly he turned to his right where a sudden drift brought a nauseating scent of rot and death.

Looking at his two betas questioningly he caught them nodding in confirmation that it was the smell they warned him about.

Sniffing the suffocating air Derek hopped over a fallen tree and dug his nose into the ground trying to find the exact source.

The leaves on the floor padded his steps and the smell of decay wafted from the ground as his paws pressed into the floor and lifted the air up and above their cover.

His sharp eyes caught sight of specks of blood coming from the spot he was standing and leading to a hollow tree trunk.

Derek followed the blood trail, Isaac and Cora, right behind him, when all of a sudden Cora let out a painful howl and the force of the pain made her shift back into her human self, a she crouched down and emptied her stomach in the grass.

In front of them, covered in dead leaves and strangled rabbits and mice, was a woman, only a few years older than Derek himself.  
Her hair limp and muddy but was once a beautiful, auburn mane of curls falling past her shoulders and her once vibrant green eyes staring at the sky above forever unable to see.

She was naked and bloody, and her forehead was branded with a symbol Derek prayed was not what his gut knew it was.

A wolf's paw with a torn stuck in it.

Suddenly human himself he fell to his knees and lowered his head dreading the talk he was going to have to have with his sister and her mate.

"Derek?"-Isaac asked quietly, holding Cora close and stroking her back with his brad palms; times like these made Derek grateful the quiet, smart, kind and strong Isaac was the one for his sister.

"Vivian..."-Derek said pointing at the woman while taking his sister's hand.

"Wha…wait you guys knew her?"-Isaac asked and Derek nodded solemnly.  
"She's the mate of the Alpha of a small pack living on the outskirts Lima. My parents were always friends with them. Cora used to spend summers with their youngest daughter."

"What is she doing here? I mean she's..."

"Human?"-Derek asked and Isaac nodded wide eyed and scared.

"I'll explain everything. Call the others and tell them to wait for me at home. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Where are you going?"-Cora finally came to herself for long enough to grab his hand and try to keep him close.

"I have to take her back to Devon. She's on my territory and it's my duty to give her pack the chance to say goodbye to her."-Derek said and Isaac pulled Cora closer, releasing Derek's arm from her clutch.

"D…whatever killed her is still out there. I don't want you to get hurt."-she cried and he cupped her tear stained cheeks.

"I know what it is and I'll explain everything. For now just know that they would never hurt me, or you or any other wolf for that matter. Go home. I'll be back before you know it."-he kissed her cheek and she jumped after Isaac, both of them shifting, mid air and running towards the Hale property, their howls calling out to the rest of their pack.

* * *

The Hale house was restored years ago, and yet sometimes Derek swore he could still taste the ashes on his tongue and feel the smoke creeping under his clothes and clinging to his skin.

He could hear the howls of his family and the despair that clutched his heart when he realized he would never be able to save them.

Times like these, when his house was filled with voices of his new family made him miss the old one even more; made him miss the chance to have them all in his life together.

He took in the sight in front of him as he sat down in his armchair, his bones aching and his mind reeling from the weight of the sorrow the Arlington pack felt; their howls escorting him back home, desperate and heart wrenching.

He laid Vivian at Devon's feet and the Alpha screamed in agony, holding her body close and begging for her to come back; smoothing out the branded skin of her forehead with his thumbs and refusing to believe she was gone.

Derek felt awkward and misplaced at the face of such strong emotion and unknowing of what to do to offer comfort and condolences.

He never knew what to do but Devon seemed too far gone to even notice his reluctance to speak.

Eventually he pulled one of the distressed betas aside and told him to keep an eye out and look after their pack if they sense the threat has breached their territory.

The young beta nodded but Derek knew he had heard little of what he had to say.

He couldn't blame him; he knew what it felt like to lose your whole world in one person.

Vivian was adored, and her pack was broken.

He excused himself and rushed back home, mind filled with golden eyes and perfect lips and pale skin.

He had to get home.

He had to protect what was his.

He ran faster than ever and by the time he finally got back home he could feel his pack gathered in their living room, their anxiety rolling off of them in waves.

Erica was sitting with her back against the wall, Boyd's hand clutched firmly in her own.

He knew she was acting tough like always but he could also tell she had let her mate realize how scared she was and the strong man was offering her all the comfort he could with that one squeeze of his fingers.

Next to them curled up in a loveseat, Isaac was holding Cora on his lap, her thin frame still shaking and Derek could hear Isaac whispering to her comfortingly every time a sob broke out of her lips.  
The blonde beta was just as distressed as she was but he was holding it together because she needed him and once more Derek felt grateful to have him.

That left Ethan, sitting on the couch with Danny resting on his chest and clutching the material of his shirt firmly.

The twin wolves came to Beacon Hills as a part of the Alpha pack that threatened to ruin what they had started to build.

And while Aidan used Lydia to get closer to the pack, Ethan found his true mate in the kind lacrosse player with dimpled smile and the friendliest eyes ever.

Scared of being forced to leave him behind or worse, Ethan came to Derek for help knowing that it meant betraying his own brother.

The Alpha pack was defeated and while Aidan wasn't dead, he decided he wanted nothing to do with Ethan, leaving the town the first chance he got.

Ethan accepted that fate and decided to stay with Danny and join Derek's pack.

But while the two of them joined the pack Danny was still decidedly human and he had no intentions of changing that any time soon.

And that was fine with everyone, until now.

"What happened?"-Isaac asked as soon as he stepped in and sat down.

"They're inconsolable."-Derek said stiffly and they all knew not to push for more than the alpha was willing to give on his own.

"Guys…I don't even know how to start this so just….just let me get it all out and then I'll answer whatever questions you might have okay?"-he asked and he knew they saw how serious this was because they all kept perfectly quiet.

"Packs around the world…they're different. They believe in different things and follow different rules. The Arlington pack is like us…peaceful, they keep to their territory, and live with no secret agenda. The Hale pack had been their friend for ages because we lead very similar lives. One of the things both packs allow is human members."-he said and turned to look at Danny who, since the departure of Allison and Lydia, and eventually Stiles, remained the only human in their pack.

"Is there something wrong with me?"-Danny asked and Ethan frowned at him, kissing his forehead gently.

"You're absolutely perfect."-he glared at Derek.

"There's nothing wrong with you Danny. But some packs think that humans are lower beings, they refuse to let their members mate outside of the wolf community and they refuse to live close to people. Most of them keep to themselves and the fact that they despise humans hurts nobody. But throughout history there have been several occasions when groups of human haters would organize themselves and go on a killing spree. They call themselves the Cleansers."

"What the hell are they cleansing exactly?"-Erica huffed, eyes wide with terror but Derek could tell Danny already knew the answer to that because he was now burying his face in Ethan's neck and trembling.

"They thing they are freeing the packs from the burden of having human members."-Derek said quietly.

"So Vivian was killed because she was a human and mated to a wolf?"-Isaac asked and Derek confirmed with a nod.

"That's ridiculous. What the hell does it have to do with them if I'm mated to a human?"-Ethan asked angrily.

"They think you're not thinking straight and that they should free you from being influenced by a human."-Derek said and Ethan scowled, holding Danny closer and whispering in his ear.

"Nothing, do you hear me, nothing will ever hurt you. I'm not gonna let anybody touch you."

"Derek, what was Viv doing in our territory though? Nobody said anything about her visiting."-Cora asked after a moment of silence.

"She wasn't visiting. She was left there as a warning to us. They killed one of the Arlingtons and that serves as a warning to them. They left her for us to find her to warn us too. The brand on her forehead is their sign. A wolf's paw with a torn in it. A torn marks the humans. They are a pain and a disturbance and they need to be removed."

"So what do we do?"-Boyd asked, sullen and quiet as ever.

"We protect our own. Danny isn't to be left alone. The Cleansers will have that symbol branded on the side of their necks. If you see them don't attack alone and try to avoid them. We can deal with this together. Danny…we're gonna keep you safe okay?"

"I know you will. I trust you. But Derek…what about Stiles?"-Danny asked and the whole pack gasped because his name was something nobody mentioned in front of the alpha.

"He's not part of the pack anymore, he should be safe."-Derek answered stiffly, willing his heart to be steady, to not give him away.

But Isaac was obviously not letting it go now that Danny broke the ice.

"The house still smells like him. And if that is so then he still smells like us…like…like you. What if they go after him?"-he asked and Derek felt his skin prickle at the thought of something happening to him.

"Stay here tonight. It's safer when you're together."-he said standing up swiftly and heading for the door.

"Derek?"-Cora called after him and he turned around to face her.

"Tell him we miss him."-she whispered and Derek felt his throat constrict when he realized that cutting Stiles off was hurting them all more than he ever knew.

He looked at his pack and every single member was giving him a hopeful look; a silent plead of "bring him back home".

He nodded stiffly and rushed out the door.

* * *

"I am seriously starting to think you're doing this on purpose. Do you not like LOTR? Is that why I have to stop the movie every five minutes and pee? Do you want to watch something else?"-Stiles rambled as he positioned himself on the sofa after another trip to the bathroom.

Alessia obviously didn't appreciate Frodo and his friend's adventures because he started watching the movie two hours ago and the merry gang of Sauron defeaters was still in Rivendell.

Stroking a hand down his stomach he smiled at the faint kick and pressed play.

He relaxed into the cushions and just as Gimli promised Frodo his axe he had to press pause again, this time not to pee but to answer a hysterical doorbell.

"Oh it's daddy's Chinese food. You like Chinese right? The last time we had it you slept through the whole night without a fuss. I'm taking that as "yes daddy I love Chinese"."-he wobbled to the door and turned the knob, digging through his wallet to find the right amount of money.

"You guys really deliver fast. I wasn't expecting you for at least another 15 minutes. What do you teleport now? Because if you do I wanna be a delivery guy too…Do you think your…"-he looked up mid ramble and his hands froze, letting his wallet slip through his fingers onto the floor.

A familiar scowl was facing him back only those powerful, pale eyes weren't looking at him but his protruded stomach, flashing that possessive red glow.

He still looked perfect, dark hair mussed and a five o'clock shadow covering his jaw.

Stiles never thought he would see Derek Hale standing on his front door and he had no idea what to say to break the awful silence clinging to them heavily.

"You're not the delivery guy."-is what he decided to say in the end and if that wasn't the dumbest off all the options he had he had no idea what was.

"You're pregnant."-Derek decided to be just as smart as he was and Stiles stared at him for a moment longer before the surrealistic situation took it's toll on him and he collapsed to the floor.

* * *

**Review maybe?**


	4. I'm fine without you

**Okay um...the next chapter is here and I have to say I think it's a bit messy and all over the place but I kind of decided to post it after I played with it for a while and did my best to fix what I could fix.**

**I hope you still like it and once again thanks to everyone who reviewed and said amazing things about this story.**

**I love you all :***

* * *

_„It took you long enough!"-Erica smirked from her spot, leaning on the doorframe of Derek's bedroom and watching her alpha curled around a pale form, surprisingly still as a contrast to the usual flailing of limbs and insistent noise making._

_„What are you talking about?"-Derek scowled at her, checking for signs of Stiles waking up due to the noise she was making._

_When the younger man remained starfished across his chest and half the bed, quiet and unmoving, Derek realized Erica was talking loud enough for only wolves to hear._

_„Don't play dumb, alpha. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You and Stiles. It's long overdue really."-she tried smiling but there was something heady and uncomfortable curling around her senses as she watched the two of the together._

_"It's not what you think Erica."-he said stupidly, cringing at the lame explanation he gave her._

_Because it was exactly what she was thinking._

_Stiles was his._

_In every way possible and it took Derek years to do something about it._

_But as soon as Stiles collapsed on top of him, sated from his touches for the first time, he knew there was no way he could keep him around._

_He had to keep him safe and the only way to do it was to drive him as far away from the pack as possible._

_Even if it did rip his heart out._

_"I'm not an idiot Derek. None of us are."-she stated seriously, crossing her arms on her chest and glaring at him, knowing full well what he was about to say._

_"I can't keep him. It's not safe for him. I'm not safe."-he said trailing soft fingertips across bare skin of Stiles' back._

_There were scars._

_Derek was to blame for them._

_The skin there should have been pale, and smooth and unblemished._

_But Derek came along and he ruined him._

_Erica eyed the path of his fingers and her glare softened to a gentle caress of bright yellow eyes._

_"You're not alone anymore. We're all gonna help you keep him safe. Just like we do with Danny. He's just as human as Stiles."-she said gently trying to tell him that it was okay to be just a little bit selfish sometimes and take something good for yourself._

_"Ethan is not an alpha. I am. And that makes me a target. The easiest way to hurt me is to hurt him. I…I can't let it happen Erica. I can't keep him around."-he said and she dropped her eyes to the floor._

_"You're gonna break his heart Derek."-she said quietly as Stiles began to squirm and pout and snuffle as he usually did when he was trying to stay asleep but was unable to._

_"I'm gonna keep him alive."-he told her, letting his alpha pheromones fill the air, making her back away from the room and leave them alone just a little bit longer._

* * *

He had changed.

Derek didn't remember him like this.

His eyes were sunken deep into his cheeks and purple shadows stretched underneath them like a cobweb.

His cheekbones were more prominent now and his lips slightly dry and chapped.

Adorably upturned nose was just the same as Derek's mind remembered form all the times he placed kisses on the tip, making Stiles blush and lower his eyes.

Long fingers were now ending with nails bitten as closely to the skin as he could manage.

His knees were just as knobby but he seemed to weigh less than before despite the swelling of his belly that peeked from his cotton t-shirt; Derek's t-shirt.

His eyes misted as he realized that his pack was right.

If Stiles kept wearing his clothes there was no way their scent was gone from underneath his skin.

And Derek could smell it perfectly.

The rough, heavy scent of his own skin etched into his pores, filling them with love, and possessiveness, the sweetness of Isaac, the protectiveness of Boyd and Erica, the friendship from Cora, and the deep affection and camaraderie from Ethan and Danny.

With everything he was Stiles was still a part of them and they were all a part of him.

Finally allowing himself to go there, Derek looked at Stiles' stomach feeling his throat dry up and his eyes widen.

He could hear it from the minute he walked in but he remained composed long enough to pick his mate up and place him on the sofa until he wakes up; he could hear the faint heartbeat echoing next to Stiles'.

Faster, quieter and fluttery, but a heartbeat of his own child, his cub.

Reaching out he placed his palm on top of a thin strip of skin under the shirt and felt the heat of his belly, a few degrees warmer than the rest of his body.

Tears sprang from his eyes and he felt his claws lengthen, skimming across the taut stretched skin.

He was just about to pull his hand away to prevent hurting his mate when a light kick bumped from under the skin against his palm.

Inhaling sharply he willed his wolf down again and gently pushed back against the pressure.

The kick repeated harder this time and his breath hitched just as his hand was roughly pushed away by a set of gangly, skinny fingers.

"Get away from me."-Stiles hissed, scrambling backwards until his back hit the armrest of the sofa and he was the furthest away from Derek as he could be without actually getting up and leaving.

"Stiles…"-he started but the younger man wanted nothing to do with him.

"What do you want Derek?"-he spat and the alpha cringed with the venom in his voice.

Stiles was soft spoken, he didn't yell, he didn't bite angrily; he bitched and whined and he was sarcastic but this…this was pure hate.

Hate towards Derek and everything he did wrong since the moment he kissed him for the first time, unable to stay away.

Stiles hated him, but he was also carrying his child.

A child he never knew existed.

"Why didn't you tell me, Stiles?"-he asked brokenly and the younger man flinched with suppressed rage.

"Tell you what? It's not even your child."-Stiles snapped vindictively and Derek's eyes flashed red.

"DON'T! Stiles don't do that. I can smell my blood, my pack."  
"SHE'S NOT YOUR ANYTHING."-Stiles screamed and Derek's eyes went wide and teary.

"She…it's a girl. My daughter…"-Derek let his tears fall and Stiles watched him silently, his anger slipping away with every tear rolling off Derek's cheeks.

God he had missed him so much.

The pale eyes that looked at him like he was the most precious possession a wolf could have.

The soft lips that were familiar to every inch of his burning skin.

The strong, muscled arms that held him through each night, keeping him safe and warm.

He didn't miss his voice though.

That rough, scratchy voice ruined everything.

_We were just having fun, Stiles._

_It was nothing serious, Stiles._

_It was good while it lasted, Stiles._

_Don't make it into something bigger than it is, Stiles._

He hated the voice that made his heart shatter and his life crumble around him, leaving him alone, unloved and scared.

But he couldn't hate the man behind that voice no matter what he did.

No matter how far away he pushed him his heart would always stay with him; it's a stubborn heart, there's not much he can do about it.

And seeing Derek so broken, kneeling on the floor in despair made that traitorous heart ache to take him in his arms and make it all go away.

"I…"-he started but the older man jumped up to his feet, eyes blazing red and furious.

"How could you keep this from me? Do you hate me that much you'd take away my child from me?"-he asked through clenched teeth, balling his fists into the fabric of his jacket.

"I didn't want you to know. Hate me all you want. It's not gonna be anything new for you anyway. But Les is MY daughter."

"Les? You named her already."-Derek asked with a noticeable note of jealousy.

"I did. I…I talk to her a lot and calling her baby all the time seemed stupid. H-her name is Alessia. Alessia Laurel."-Stiles said quietly hearing Derek breathe in heavily.

"You named her after your mom and Laura."

"I…yeah…I was gonna give her your last name a well. In case she's born a werewolf. So she'd know the pack she could go to if she needed anything."-he said awkwardly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"-Derek breathed out, emotions clouding his vision and making him shiver.

"You pushed me away, Derek. I was just someone you could fuck until you got bored. I didn't want to seem like I was trying to make you stay with me because of the child. I know that you deserved to know. My dad told me a million times I had to tell you. But I wanted to keep the option of taking her away far from here if she turned out human."-he said in a rush and Derek gritted his teeth.

"You'd take her away? You'd never let me know her? You'd never let her know her father? Are you out of your mind Stiles?"-Derek yelled and started pacing back and forth.

"I AM her father. And yes. If she turned out human I'd take her away from Beacon Hills. Away from all the supernatural shit and away from anything that would endanger her. She's my daughter and I want her safe."-Stiles raised his tone and Derek fell silent suddenly understanding Stiles' motives.

He's do for her what he did for him.

Drive him away to keep him alive and well.

But….

"She's not human."

"What?"

"She's a wolf."-Derek said in a hushed voice.

"Oh god…."

"She's a wolf and she's gonna need her pack to grow."-he said and Stiles paled walking backwards away from him curling his arms around his belly.

"You're not taking her away from me. I'll die fighting for her."-he said, voice quivering with fear.

"She'll need you too, Stiles. I'm not going to take her away."-Derek said frowning in confusion.

"I'm not going back there with you. Ever. We'll figure something out for her safety and training and whatever she might need. But I'm not going with you."-he said again and suddenly Derek remembered why he came in the first place.

"It's not just about her Stiles. You need to come back with me for your own safety."-he said and Stiles' eyes widened in fear.

"Are you…is that a threat? Are you threatening me? Because let me tell you something Derek. Long gone are the days when I'd pee my pants every time you'd glare at me. I'm not afraid of you and there's nothing you can say that's gonna make me afraid. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not naïve and I'm not a rag doll you can just push around as you like. I'm perfectly fine without you."-he ranted furiously and Derek watched him with wide eyes.

"Stiles I'm not threatening you. God you really think I'd hurt you?"-he asked desperately.

"It wouldn't be the first time, Derek."-he snapped back and Derek flinched, his heart tearing at the seams.

He did hurt him.

He knew that.

He could smell the pain and the sorrow on him.

And he felt so ridiculous now.

So stupid for letting him go.

He had missed everything; ultrasounds, check- ups, name picking, everything.

His baby was almost there, his mate was pregnant with his baby and he made him feel unwanted and unloved and he drove him away.

God how stupid was he.

He was gonna get them back.

Both of them.

Erica was right. Stiles was the safest around his mate.

Because there is nobody in the world more willing to lay down their own life for the two of them than he is.

He would get them back.

As soon as he explained Stiles that he was in danger.

"Stiles…it's not a threat. I promise. But I came here for a reason so please let me explain."-he pleaded and Stiles eyed him carefully before flailing one gangly arm as a "go on" sign.

So Derek did.

In the most clinical terms he could manage he explained to him about The Cleansers and the danger he was in.

He told him how they found Vivian with the mark on her forehead, how they left her on his territory as a warning, how Danny was in danger and how afraid Ethan was, how they worry about him and how they want him to come back to the pack house so they can keep him safe.

Stiles was left confused.

"But…I'm not in danger. I'm not a part of your pack anymore. I never were if what you said to me that say is true."-he said in a pained voice and Derek felt himself shiver with pain "So why would they want to hurt me? Why would I uproot myself from my home and go with someone who doesn't even want me around if I have never belonged to you in the first place?"

"Stiles…"

"No, Derek. You can't make me go with you. They will target human MEMBERS of your pack. So focus on keeping Danny safe. I'm fine right where I am."-he said crossing his arms on his chest defiantly.

Derek took in his defensive stance and the wolf in him went mad with the need to protect.

"You still smell like us. And the house still smells like you. Don't you get it Stiles? They don't care how you feel about me or how I feel about you. If you smell like pack, then you ARE pack. And you're carrying my child THAT'LL ALSO BE IN DANGER IF YOU STAY HERE ALONE. So pack a bag and get in the car because if you don't I'll drag you there by your hair."

"What? You can't just…."

"NOW!"-his eyes flashed red and all of a sudden Stiles felt his insides turn as his baby girl tossed and turned inside of him almost wildly.

It was as if…

"Oh my god…"-he whispered to himself but he knew Derek could hear him.

"What? Stiles are you all right? Is the baby okay? Oh god if I hurt her somehow…"-Derek turned frantic.

Stiles looked up at him and he felt physical pain slashing through him at the sight of his strong, stoic wolf breaking down in front of him.

"You didn't hurt her. I think she just…I think she's just really happy to meet you. She knows who you are."-he said with a lump in his throat.

"She does?"-Derek's eye shone and Stiles nodded with a tight smile.

"I know I'm asking too much but can I…can I feel her?"-he asked and Stiles broke at how utterly small he seemed at that moment when he was usually larger than life.

"I…yeah. Sure. Give me your hand."

Derek offered his palm and with a deep breath Stiles wrapped his fingers around it and placed it on his rounded stomach where Les was kicking away happily.

The older man gasped and splayed his fingers across the soft skin, feeling his daughter greet him with a soft jab of her tiny foot.

Meanwhile Stiles was squirming restlessly and trying to pull his hand away from Derek's.

Derek's hand was still large and warm and he remembered it and he felt himself break at the feeling of it.

He tugged his hand back towards his chest but Derek grabbed his fingers and looked down at him, pain painted across his beautiful face.

"Stiles…I'm sorry…"

"Don't…don't make this harder than it is. I've made peace with the fact that you don't want me. And now that I know she's a wolf I know I can't keep her away from you. But please let me keep at least a part of my dignity and don't lie to me."-he said sadly.

"I'm not…"

"Derek, please. I'll pack my stuff tomorrow and come to the pack house."-Stiles said firmly and Derek realized the cut he made on Stiles' heart is too deep to heal just because he was willing to say he's sorry.

He realized he'll have to work hard to get him back and he was willing to shed every last drop of sweat, blood and tears to make him his again.

"Okay. Come by first thing in the morning. We'll have to make a plan. The Cleansers are not to be taken lightly.

"First thing tomorrow it is. Now if you don't mind I'm pretty tired and I want to go to bed."-Stiles said and Derek nodded heading for the door.

"Good night Stiles."-he clasped the door knob when Stiles spoke again.

"Derek wait. I…I thought you might like to have this."-he said pushing a smooth piece of paper in his hand "It's um…it's from the last ultrasound. It's Les. You can keep it if you want to."

Derek stared at the picture of his daughter like he was just handed a secret formula to live forever.

"Thank you. I…I love it."-he looked up, tears in his eyes and Stiles swallowed loudly, nodding at him.

The older man clutched the photo and all but ran out of his apartment.

Stiles locked the door after him and collapsed onto the couch gripping the edge of his shirt and keeping the tears in as best as he could.

Eight months later and he still loved Derek with everything he was.

* * *

"Did you bring him?"

"Is he here?"

"Is he okay?"

His pack descended on him the second he walked in.

"He'll be here in the morning. I barely managed to convince him to come."-he said tiredly.

"What if they find him tonight?"-Danny asked.

"Stiles will be safe for at least a couple more weeks."

"Why are you so sure?-Isaac frowned.

Derek sighed and turned the picture towards him.

"Because he's pregnant and the baby is a wolf. They won't risk killing a cub. It's too precious."

"Derek…oh my god is it…?"-Cora gasped and her older brother looked at her tiredly.

"Yeah…I'm gonna have a baby girl."

* * *

**Review please? *puppy dog eyes***


	5. Tell him

**I am literally floored with the love this story is getting even while I'm away being a crappy updater XD**

**This chapter is kind of a filler one before the big one but I still hope you'll like it and now that my biggest story is finished I'll have more time and I promise I'll update more often.**

**Things will start looking up after this so I hope you're okay with that ;)**

**Let me know what you think.**

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„Stiles where the hell are you?" the voice of the sheriff boomed through the young man's cell phone as he stood in line to get some much needed coffee (it was decaf but he liked the taste and the comfort the familiar gesture of ordering a cup of warm liquid brought).

It was early in the morning, just before the start of morning shifts in most of the companies, so the line was long and moving slowly, making Stiles jittery and nervous.

After Derek had gone the night before he took a piece of paper and wrote the pros and the cons of moving into the Hale manor.  
His pro column filled up quickly:

_He's Les' daddy  
He will keep her safe  
he will train her  
my friends are there too  
I would be safer there  
I won't be alone when I go into labor  
Derek is there  
I still love him  
_  
Then he crumpled the paper and threw it because his cons column was just plan sad looking with only one thing written in it:

_He doesn't love me back_

He allowed himself a moment of something akin to desperation as he thought back to the hours they spent together; how loved he felt and hw safe it was in Derek's arms.  
Then he remembered how good of an actor the Alpha was, using him, making him believe things that were never there.

He shook his head determined to forget about that and concentrate on what was important; Les' safety.

Nodding to himself he stood up and packed his bags, taking the emergency backpack he packed for when the time to go to the hospital emerged.  
Glancing at his phone he frowned trying to force himself to call his dad, but even if he knew John told on his location to Derek for his own safety, a little bit of spite stopped him from calling; he wanted the sheriff to squirm a little bit before letting him know he was safe.

Edgy and uncomfortable he spent the night in a sleepy haze on his couch, waiting for the morning light to hit his windows so he could finally get going; all the waiting was making him anxious and scared.

So with the first ray sneaking into his home, he jumped up, took his things and loaded them in his jeep, knowing full well that he shouldn't be driving so close to his doe date but feeling rebellious and determined to prove that he could take care of himself and his baby on his own.

Humming to a vaguely familiar tune on the radio he ventured back into town and parked in front of the café shop, where he found himself standing in line and listening to his dad rambling loudly into the phone, clutched tightly to his ear.

"I in town dad, getting coffee." He said in a bored sounding voice and he could almost feel his dad's rage hit the ceiling.

"What on earth are you doing in town, and by yourself no less. And you know you can't drink coffee." Moving one step towards the counter he rolled his eyes knowing he was acting childish but the sense of betrayal just wouldn't leave him alone.

"I'm getting decaf dad and I'm in town because a certain someone decided to let the information of my whereabouts slip in front of the last person I wanted to know where I was and so he came around last night…told me I was in danger and to come to his house so I could be safe. Now you wouldn't know anything about that, would you dad?" he hissed into the phone quietly to avoid curious glances and he could feel a sharp intake of breath before his dad exhaled carefully and spoke again.

"Stiles I'm sorry. But he looked seriously scared and I had to choose between keeping your secret and keeping you safe. And after thinking about it I decided I'd much rather have you not speaking to me but alive than not have you at all." he said and Stiles felt all of his anger melt away in the face of so much love and care his father gave him.

"Oh like I would ever be able to stop speaking. To you or any other way. Speaking is kind of my thing so you're good." He chuckled through misty eyes and John laughed back, relieved that his son still wanted him around.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. I need to get back to work now but be sure to call me later and tell me how it goes." John said, worry lacing his words like a cobweb.

"I will dad, don't worry too much. I gotta go, I'm next in line." He said taking another step to the counter and pocketing his phone after saying goodbye to his dad.

The man in front of him picked up his coffee and scone and moved out of the way, leaving Stiles to lean against the counter.

"Good morning sir, what can I get you?" A chipper girl with bright orange hair that usually worked when Stiles got in asked, way too perky for early morning but Stiles smiled anyway because he was just like that when he wasn't exhausted from being pregnant and alone.

"My usual please." He said and jumped when a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

"I sure hope your usual is decaf." A voice followed that hand and the coolness of that tone send shivers down his spine.

He turned around, shrugging the hand from him in the process and placing a protective hand on his belly.

"I don't mean to sound rude but my coffee order in none of your concern." He said, pleased to notice his voice came out sounding stronger than he felt at the moment as he started at the mountain of a man in front of him.

He had shoulder long, black hair hanging in greasy strips from his oversized head, his eyes were beady and unfocused, making him look completely deranged.  
The side of his neck looked branded with something Stile couldn't recognize and if Les' frantic kicking was anything to go by the man was nothing but trouble.

"Oh snap. They told me Alpha Hale had a snarky mate but you are so much more than just that." The man leered at him, eyeing his belly with a hungry gleam in his eyes.

"I don't know what they told you but it was obviously wrong. I'm not his mate." Stiles said, squaring his shoulders and trying to appear taller, more confident, not scared, frowning when the man barked out a laugh at him.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he asked through a chuckle and Stiles drew his eyebrows together in confusion and discomfort.

"I don't care what you believe in. I am not Derek Hale's mate. You can check with him if you want to." He said in an exasperated voice, his legs hurting like hell and his coffee taking ages to be done.

The man eyed him with curiosity for a few minutes before breaking down into a hysterical laugh that went on seemingly for days.

"It's his pup you're carrying. Or is it not?" he asked when he finally managed to calm down, a mad chuckle turning into a sickeningly sweet voice that made Stiles cringe in discomfort.

He wanted to go home.

He wanted his dad.

He wanted Derek and his strong arms to hold him and to protect him.

But he was on his own and he knew he needed to find a way to get to the pack house.

"Again…how is that you concern?" he asked, forgetting about his coffee and trying to push his way towards the door but the man grabbed his forearm roughly and got up in his face, their noses almost touching.

"Every wolf in this world is my concern little human mate. And I need to make sure they are safe. Your baby is a wolf cub, and an Alpha heir from what I can smell. So you see, it is my concern because that cub needs to be raised in a proper environment. And when I say proper I mean pack…a purely wolf pack." He hissed and all of a sudden Stiles felt his heart slam against his ribcage, his air forced out of his lungs and an arm curling protectively over his stomach even though he was well aware of the fact that he had no way of protecting his child if the man decided to do something to them.

Breathing heavily he pushed his way towards the door, forgetting about his coffee as he fought to reach his car as fast as he could.

He had to get to Derek, he had to get his baby to safety even if his own life got taken away from him in the process.

He heard steps behind him, followed by that awful, smug chuckling as he reached for his keys with his shaking hands, sweat pooling on his lower back and blood pounding in his ears.

The wolf stalked towards him, slowly, leisurely, playing, teasing.

Stiles knew he could have gotten to him long ago if he had wanted to but this was a game, a psychological war that he was clearly loosing.

Finally he managed to unlock the door and he jumped inside of his jeep, locking all the doors and rolling up the windows as he pushed the key into the ignition and tried to turn it on.

He was about to roll away from the parking lot when a face glued itself to his window and the wolfs hot breath misted the cool glass.

Stiles could see his mad grin through the fog and the word he spelled with his fingers, letters drawn backwards so he could read it, before he pushed himself away from his car and disappeared into the crowd leaving Stiles shaking and staring into that word tainting his window.

_Soon_

Hands shaking, mind spinning and heart thudding in his chest he forced himself to breathe and to focus on driving and getting himself and his baby girl to Derek's house safely.  
He drove mechanically, counting the turns, counting the stop signs and the red lights and the little routine managed to get his mind back on track by the time he got to the Hale manor.  
He parked his car as close to the house as he could, ignoring the fact that his old parking spot was vacant; he didn't want things to go back to the way they were, he didn't want to remember.

But the warm brown porch and the swing on it reminded him of afternoons spent lounging on it and watching the pack train, the patch of flowers by the right wall made him think of the time he started bitching to Derek to start making the ruin into a home again, and the black square of the front door brought back every kiss they shared there, every tremble of his body Derek's lips caused and eventually the heartbreak he felt when he slammed them into his face for the last time.

* * *

_"I think it's time for you to go."_

_"Derek what are you talking about? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing is wrong I just don't want you around anymore."_

_"What?"_

_"It was fun at first but I can feel you growing attached and I can't have that."_

_"I'm not growing attached you asshole…I love you."_

_"But I don't love you."_

_"Y-you're lying."_

_"No…I'm really not Stiles. It was sex and it was fun. But now it's time to end it before someone gets hurt."_

_"Someone already got hurt."_

* * *

Blinking back the tears he shook his head and turned away from the house that meant so much to him as he walked around the car to get his bags.

He had no idea how he would survive living with the man who broke him into tiny pieces and then walked away without even a second glance, and a group of people who were once his friends but who abandoned him as soon as their Alpha was done with him.

He was terrified of the days ahead but he knew that he'd do anything to keep his daughter safe and there was nowhere she was safer but among her pack.

He pulled the strap of the biggest one over his left shoulder, supporting it with his hand as he pulled out the smaller bag and hooked his emergency backpack into the crook of his elbow.

Struggling with the weight he locked his car and dragged the bags up the porch and to the front door that swung open without him even knocking, revealing a beaming Isaac and Boyd looming over his shoulder, stoic as ever.

"Stiles you came. Man I'm so happy to see you, you have no idea." Isaac prattled as he let him inside and Stiles felt his insides turn at the sound of his voice.

He didn't need their lies, or their pretending, he knew why he was there and he knew that as soon as the danger was gone, he'll be gone too; away from their minds and away from their hearts.

"Stiles! Hi…you look amazing." Cora came bounding down the stairs throwing herself into his arms in a hug he just couldn't force himself to return "Oh it's so good to have you back. I can't wait for you to settle in so we can talk and watch movies."

She sounded happy and Stiles felt sick with how much effort they were putting into their act. Erica hugged him next, kissing his cheek and patting his belly, Ethan came along and bro hugged him before he was attacked by Danny who lifted him up and twirled him around, a huge grin plastered on his face as they all cheered and he just couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP!" he almost screamed and they went silent, eyes wide and lips parted in stunned surprise "Stop acting like we're all friends and stop pretending I'm here for any other reason than keeping my baby safe. You guys all left me when Derek was done using me and no matter how you try to spin the story it's not gonna make it better. I'll be here until the danger is gone and then I'll move back to my own home again. Now which room is mine?"

They stared at him, faces pale and guilty, Cora's cheeks washed with tears and Isaac eyes downcast and sad.

He didn't care.

They hurt him worse than that.

"Upstairs, second door to the left." Boyd said quietly, as usually the only one to be able to function in a situation going out of control and Stiles nodded at him courtly, gripping his bags tighter and walking towards the stairs.

"Please tell Derek I'd like to speak to him when he gets back." He said before climbing up the stairs, his heart racing as his body remembered the younger version of himself walking that same path, desperately in love and so blindingly happy that he didn't even see how stupid he was to hope.

Well he knew better this time around.

He could almost taste the sadness looming over his house as he ran back from checking his territory borders when he felt Stiles' presence getting closer and closer to him, his wolf howling in desperate want to be close to him after so long.

Stiles was there and from the smell of it he seemed okay, he thought to himself as he approached the door and shifted completely back, pushing the door open and then freezing at the sight in front of him.

His entire pack was huddled in the hallway, Cora crying silently into Isaac's shoulder, Ethan holding a distraught looking Danny and Erica trying to appear tough and cool but her hands were shaking in Boyd's.

The smell of misery and desperation clung to them, mixed with anger and guilt and remorse.

"What's going on guys?" he asked knowing that nothing was wrong with his mate and his cub because he could feel them as clearly as he could feel his own skin.

His question was met with 6 pairs of eyes filled with so much hate he swore he's be stripped off his power if looks could actually do that.

"Oh that is rich? Really Derek? What's wrong? Well let me tell you what's wrong brother dear. YOU. You are an idiot and I swear to god I want nothing more than to skin you alive right now." Cora hissed at him, her fangs lengthening in anger.

"Cora what the hell has gotten into you?" he stepped back not necessarily afraid but just on guard because she was fierce while defending someone she loved and before Derek messed everything up Stiles was her best friend.

"You didn't tell him the truth. You brought him here while he still thinks he was used and then tossed away not just by you but by all of us." She poked him in the chest with her finger and glared at him as he lowered his eyes in shame.

"I tried to explain…he…he wouldn't let me." he said quietly but she laughed at him, merciless in her strive to make it right again.

"I. Don't. Care. Your stupid martyr role got us all into this mess and you're gonna get us out of it." she looked around to aks for support and he got it in the form of determined nods of the entire pack.

"And how do you propose I do that. He hates me." he said to her, running a tired hand over his face.

"Tell him all the things you should've said the moment you laid eyes on him. Tell him he's your mate, tell him you love him, tell him you're sorry and that you'll fight with all you've got to get him back. Tell him the truth." She said as she wrapped her hands around his shoulders, shaking with the tears he was trying to keep inside.

"He won't listen to me." he tried weakly one more time but she cut him off with a shake of her head.

"Make him listen. You deserve to be happy. Both of you do." She said quietly and he nodded once, leaning into her and basking in the feeling of safety and family and pack.

"Okay I'll do it." he promised her and she smirked as she let him go.

"Go on then. He said he wanted to talk to you anyway." She laughed at his stunned face and gave him a small push towards the stairs.

"What now? You want me to do it now?" he frowned and she smiled at him sweetly.

"No time like right now big brother. Besides, I don't want to live here with him hating all of us. I want our old pack back. The one with Stiles in it."

"I want it too." he nodded and she pushed him again.

"Then go get it."

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**My amazing Ana made a cover picture for this so let me know what you think of it...it's my profile picture here on FF :)**


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